(Cross-posted from www.Alreadybooked.com – a great place to meet other lifestyle travelers on Couples Cruises. After honing your swinger elevator pitch, book your cabin here to join us on Independence of the Seas November 15 – 22!)
Nine out of 10 lifestyle bloggers agree: if you want to make the most out of your lifestyle cruise vacation, you and your partner have to make an effort to meet new couples.
To all newbie couples, we shout, “Get thee to a meet and greet! Wake up early for naked speed dating! Come to the seminar on spanking/squirting/slow dancing!”
But, wait. There’s more to it than that. While one famous non-monagomist said that 80% of success is showing up, it’s the other 20% that gets you successfully over your new friends’ stateroom threshold.
At our Swinging for Newbies class, Lynn and I talk about the importance of your Couples Swinger Elevator Pitch, the 20 second introduction you say verbally to a new couple you are meeting for the first time (in the elevator, at a buffet line, on a barstool, in the sauna, at your dinner table, or in the foyer leading in to the playroom ;).
Having a well-honed swinger elevator pitch is the key to communicating the critical information about you and your partner to new friends. It’s the verbal version of the About You section on a dating website.
Here are the basic elements of a swinger elevator pitch:
–Your condensed lifestyle profile: interests, goals, and *especially limits*
“Hi, we are Kevin and Wetanika. She loves bi-friendly ladies (as do I), and we’re a soft swap couple with a kinky side. We say that we’re ‘swinky!’ We’re looking for new friends to join us for dinner. Do you have plans tonight?”
Elevator starts to close.
“Here’s our card if you’d like to join us outside the Windjammer at 7!”
Why is a swinger elevator pitch important?
We hear from people all the time who were upset to learn after a long night of flirting that their new friends aren’t even swingers/full-swap/bisexual/into x, y, or z and we just scratch our heads wondering how they skipped the swinger elevator pitch step. For us, attraction gets you noticed, personality gets you in the door, and matched-up interests gets you in our bed. And we want to know ASAP if it has the potential to go-go-go all the way!
People want to know what to expect. They want to know as soon as possible if there is compatibility on the big things. No one likes wasting time, especially on a cruise or vacation. An honest, authentic swinger elevator pitch saves you these worries and it makes connecting so much easier.
Any couple who doesn’t have a swinger elevator pitch is missing out on a critical tool for achieving sexy success!
The act of crafting your swinger elevator pitch guarantees that both partners are in agreement about who they are as a couple (interests and limits) and what they are looking for (goals). We try to avoid those couples who avoid these hard conversations with each other.
And let me stress again the importance of authenticity. Misrepresentation is a loser in the long term and probably the short term. Trust me, it’s okay to admit that crazy fantasy to strangers — no one will judge you on a lifestyle trip and you’ll never find it if you don’t ask!
Practice your pitch
Once you have discussed all your interests, goals, and limits with your partner and you have your elevator speech written out, practice saying it to each other and see if it “feels” right. You’ll know it when you’ve got it.
And then practice it on a few strangers before the cruise. The more you practice, the easier it gets. The best pitches are concise, clear, memorable (often with humor or a visual cue), and accurate. Lynn suggests ending your pitch with a proposal that is easy on the recipient:
“Hi, I’m Lynn…lifestyle travel agent… And if you asked me to join you in the hot tub later, I would definitely say yes!”
This quickly takes it to a no pressure, clear expectations zone. And I can think of a number of responses that allow you to gracefully decline the reverse offer.
Pay attention to others’ pitches
The other best general tip we can give you is to PAY ATTENTION to somebody else’s swinger elevator pitch. You don’t want to confuse Double-Team Debbie with Nudist Nancy later at the disco. Repeat their names back to them at least twice (and then write their names down on your hand after the elevator closes).
Remembering someone’s name is a Top 5 Turn-on.
Our final advice for closing the deal:
1. If your swinger elevator pitch quickly leads to some action, punch your ticket and go!
2. If you agree to do a thing at a specific time/place, follow through.
3. Can’t make it? Leave a note. Can’t remember their room? Keep your eyes open for them and have a counter-offer for them right away: “Hey, we’re so sorry we missed you for dinner last night. We had one too many mojitos at the pool and lost track of everything. Can we make it up for you with drinks tonight at 10 pm at the pub?” You may get a second chance to prove that you’re not flakes. But, then again, it’s a big ship, and there’s plenty of horny fish elsewhere, so you may not.
With a proper swinger elevator pitch, good listening skills, and attentive follow-through you will make more and better friends in your lifestyle travels.
Seek and ye shall find. Ask and ye shall receive. Be a wallflower and ye shall miss out.