Planning for “The Best Fu@%ing Vacation?” Make sure your penis wants just as much action as you do!

Vacations with are exciting in ways you may only have dreamed of. Booked on one of our future trips?  You may already be penciling dates into your dance card, looking forward to sexcapades in the group sex playrooms, or printing out your social cards in anticipation of this amazing vacation!

With all the plans in place it’s important that your penis is as ready to rise to the occasion as you are.

Mark Wolfe, our resident sex therapist, has designed this Sex Therapist Inside Secrets pre-vacation checklist that will enhance your own sexual health and maintain your body’s ability to perform sexually.

One important area of sexual functioning to attend to is your erection.  While it is common for most men to at some point have their penis not cooperate during a sexual encounter, being proactive can improve both the likelihood of achieving and maintaining a great erection.

Ongoing issues with erectile dysfunction may be best addressed by seeking professional help from a urologist or a sex therapist.

That said, here are several strategies that you can utilize on your own before seeking a therapist or medical doctor, and to prepare yourself to have “The Best Fu@%ing Vacation” possible.

Sex Therapist Inside Secrets:  8 ways to keep it up on vacation:

  1. Erections involve a circulatory response, so keeping your circulatory system in good working order improves erectile function.  If it’s good for your heart, it’s good for your penis.  Exercise regularly (don’t skip the cardio guys, 30-45 minutes a day at least 3x a week), and watch those additional pounds.
  2. Work on those kegel muscles!  Your pelvic floor muscles (the ones you clench to keep yourself from peeing) are involved in the erectile process.  Clench and hold these muscles for about ten seconds a few times each day to build a strong, healthy pelvic floor.  You can do these exercises anywhere at any time without anyone around you noticing, which makes this one a great way to prepare for your fucking vacation in the middle of your next boring work meeting.
  3. Most erectile dysfunction is related to anxiety.  This can be from generalized anxiety, or specific anxiety about sexual performance.  Either way, relax!  Take some pressure off yourself.  If yours doesn’t want to react the way you’d like in the moment, use some toys, use your hands or mouth… Be creative.  Make sure you have a backup plan to have fun if your penis doesn’t become erect, so that you won’t feel as much pressure to perform.
  4. If you want your body (including your penis) to take care you, you need to take care of it.  Make sure you are staying hydrated, maintaining proper nutrition and getting enough sleep, and effectively managing stress in your life.
  5. Pay attention to your body and what it needs to feel sexually aroused.  All of us have psychological scripts of what we need to feel turned on. Are there times of the day that make it easier or harder to achieve or maintain your erection? Try making a list of things that help you to feel relaxed and turned on that you can incorporate into your sexual encounters.
  6. Watch the substance use. Alcohol, nicotine, and other drugs can make it more difficult to achieve or maintain an erection.  Smoking especially is an erection-killer.
  7. If you’ve been having difficulty with your erections, talk to your doctor about your current medications and symptoms (how often, only during partnered sex or all the time, etc).  Some medications that cause erectile dysfunction as a side effect have equivalents that don’t.  Your doctor won’t know to try you on a different regimen unless you tell them about your symptoms.
  8. Plan for sexual success. Remember that genitals love to be celebrated, but hate to be judged. Becoming angry with yourself or your penis for not functioning in the way you wanted will only worsen the problem. Instead, plan to have a successful sexual encounter that does not necessitate an erection.Use this as an opportunity to explore with yourself or your partners how you might use other parts of your body to give or receive pleasure during sex, and take the focus (and pressure) off of your penis.  The less you stress yourself out about getting an erection, the more likely it is to happen.

ps.  We advocate for safe sex.  Practice makes perfect, so practicing putting on and wearing condoms with your primary partner.  Just imagine all the extra sexy fun you get to have when you wear one!

Mark Wolfe, Sex Therapist, M.Ed, MSW, LSW

 Sex Therapist Inside Secrets

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