7 Must Do Tips for Ladies New to the Lifestyle
Everyone has heard that in the lifestyle the ladies ‘control the deal.’ As the lady half of a lifestyle couple with over 15 years experience, I’ve often noticed that some ladies LOVE being empowered by this idea while others say, ‘Now what do I do?’
If you aren’t sure, start with a deep breath. You’ve got this! No one should be afraid to tell someone else how they feel, and it’s empowering to tell someone you’d like to ‘get to know them better’. Especially when they say ‘yes.’
But if you’re a woman whose coordinating the first move for the first time, it can be scary too!
Not sure how to go about it?
Here are some tactics to help you make sure your relationship grows in a positive way as you navigate the waters and plan to make your first move. These tips will help you get from ‘hello’ to ‘nice to know you better!’
1. Know what you & your partner want TODAY
Ladies, we all know men are sometimes not as good at communicating about the emotional realms as we are. So I’m empowering you to be in charge of initiating the emotional communication. This is a MUST DO.
What’s important to know is that on a Bliss Cruise what you are curious about exploring can change fast! To avoid anything less than positive outcomes I like to put the ladies in charge of the process I call ‘having the talk.‘
Every ‘Couples 101 Class’ starts with how to have the talk. This is a chance for you and your partner to clarify what you want to explore. Your preferences can change day to day or even hour to hour as do your levels of openness and willingness to experiment with new things.
Make a fun process of starting every day with ‘the talk’ and come to an agreement about what feels comfortable to both of you now. I make a morning ritual of creating some ‘US Time’ and having the talk on my balcony with a nice pot of coffee from room service.It might be as simple as having an open and honest conversation that starts with 2 questions: What would make you happy today? What would you like to explore today?
2. Set boundaries on how far you are comfortable going.
This is a no pressure zone and YOU get to create your own rules.
Creating you own list of what feels comfortable can be as easy as saying, ‘let’s be open to xyz today!’
It’s sexier to stay just inside your boundaries rather than ‘pushing them.’ Pushing is the one place I do see couples get into conflict.
Note: you can renegotiate with your partner at any time, but It is important to not push or break boundaries ‘in the moment.’
For example, saying to your mate: ‘I know we weren’t ready for more than soft swap this morning but c’mon honey let’s dive into the strap-on gangbang’ …could be a phrase you come to regret later!
On one of the chat boards a couple recently mentioned that one of the game changers for them was the revelation that you didn’t have to jump right into full swap in order to participate.
Go at your own pace and only do what feels exciting and sexy to you.
3.Make sure you and your partner are still on the same page. Check in with each other often.
Ok, so the first 3 tips are about your communication with your partner. Here’s a little secret: Having A+ communication skills is the key to using the lifestyle to enhance your relationship.
Don’t underestimate the catalytic power of this environment. It’s called BLISS CRUISE for a reason.
The energy of over 4000 eager people can and will affect the experience you are having. The beat of the music, the sway of the ship and the flashing of the lights on the dance floor will entrance you. The excitement of the crowd is contagious. The possibilities are unlimited!
Be aware of how you feel, what you want and have a habit of communicating that with your partner.
4. Smile. Seriously.
If you are ready to start getting to know other couples, start with what seems really basic. SMILE! It seems simple enough, but a lot of people forget to smile at the person they’re interested in.
If you’re happy, and you’re happy to see them, make sure your body language is showing it. Smiling makes you look and feel more approachable, which may build up your confidence to spark up a conversation.
5. Ask if they are in the lifestyle.
This one’s really important, since it’s a bit unsettling to try and pick up a couple who are onboard because they are nudists and and are only interested in getting an overall tan.
Early in the conversation I make it a point to ask if they are ‘in the lifestyle’ and what they are seeking today.
‘Are you two in the lifestyle? What do you like?’
I find it often helps if I lead with our preferences. I might say something like: ‘We are onboard to meet new friends and also new play partners. We have been in the lifestyle 15 years and are comfortable with everything from same to seperate room play. Usually like to start out with soft swap things like kissing and sensual touch. If we all 4 click then we are often game for more. We love when our swinging gets kinky… we call that ‘swinky.’
6. Remind yourself why you’re a catch.
By boosting your own confidence prior to approaching someone, you’ll be able to really shine. Remind yourself that you’re worth striking up a conversation with. That you’re an amazing, beautiful person/couple who just so happens to be pretty cool and kind of a big deal.
7. The Ultimate No Pressure Pick Up Line.
When I crowdsourced the most important topics to lifestyle couples two questions came up. How to make a pitch and how to gracefully say no. This line covers both so I wanted to make sure to include it.
I learned this line from my good friends Shane & Tammy years ago. I’ve adapted and used it so successfully I call it my … ‘Never Fails, Works Every Time Line.’
Instead of asking or making a pitch, You simply tell the other couple what you would say yes to if THEY asked you. It takes the pressure off of both couples.
Here is how it goes:
Rather than ‘making a pitch’ you give your agreement and consent and put the ‘ball in their court’ so to speak
If you were to ask us to _______ … We’d say yes!
You can fill in the blank from anything mild to wild. Some examples might be: get a drink, get naked in your cabin, meet you in the playroom for an orgy, try a nice spanking, go to Lynn’s New Couples 101 Class…
Why not give that phrase a try and report back. It works each and every time with no stress at all and I LOVE to hear the success stories this one line generates.
Curious about more tips and help getting the most out of your Bliss Cruise? Join Lynn for her New Couples 101 seminar in the Main Theater Monday, Day 2 from 12:00-1:00 pm.
Meet new friends, learn some cool stuff and discover the key to the ‘Best Fucking Vacation!’